It was a morning of mosquitoes,
creating a thick net of itchiness
that seemed almost impossible to escape from.
There’s nothing better than the fragrance
of Off Bug Spray,
that will not only repel pests,
but also your boyfriend Ben Dover
once he strokes his hands on your arms
and finds them not to be so
Downy smooth as the night before
but sticky, like a specialized ant trap.
Is Ben that Malaria-carrier that needs to be squashed?
He epitomizes all of those cliché love stories
that you used to watch alone with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s
and a box of Kleenex to catch the tears.
Consequently, you wish he would become extinct
like the Rocky Mountain Locus,
but that’s a lie,
since you would rather bite his head off yourself
(exercise those praying mantis tendencies).
Stop in the name of love,
before you decapitate your paramour.